Music In Astrology: A Very Serious Investigation With Derek “The Howl” Henderson
In recent years, a curious trend has emerged in recording studios and rehearsal spaces around the world: musicians aligning their creative output with the stars. Yes, astrology – the same pseudoscience that tells you your romantic future is doomed because Mars is in retrograde, has found a new life guiding decisions about key signatures, tempo, and whether we really do need more cowbell.
Experts (none of them qualified in either astrology or music) suggest that certain star signs are naturally predisposed to specific instruments. Aries, apparently, gravitate towards drums, loud, fiery, and impossible to ignore.
Libras, on the other hand, lean towards bass, not because they like it, but because they’re indecisive and someone had to cover the low end. Leos? They’re singers, obviously. You’ll know because they’ll tell you.
Field observations confirm this pattern. In one band rehearsal, a Virgo guitarist was spotted fine-tuning their pedalboard for over three hours before playing a single note. Nearby, a Sagittarius keyboardist improvised wildly in seven different scales, explaining that “Jupiter made them do it.”
The results were unlistenable, but undeniably cosmic.
Astrology has even crept into production. One Los Angeles producer confessed to mixing only during “favorable lunar phases,” claiming the snare “opens up beautifully under a waxing crescent.” Meanwhile in Berlin, a techno artist admitted their latest EP failed commercially because Mercury retrograde corrupted their USB stick.
Despite no evidence whatsoever, the idea of music and astrology continues to spread. Social media brims with charts suggesting Capricorns should avoid writing ballads, or that Geminis should never attempt duets (too many personalities). Whether this is genuine belief or simply a convenient excuse for bad songwriting is unclear.
What is clear, however, is that musicians are endlessly inventive when it comes to avoiding responsibility. And if the stars can shoulder the blame for missed deadlines, clashing egos, and questionable mix choices – well, perhaps astrology really does serve a purpose in music after all.
We recently chatted with legendary 80’s veteran rocker – and in no way possible an AI generate meme – Derek “The howl” Henderson at his home in New Zealand, who revealing conversation shed more light on this phonomime, and possible how we all can benifit from expanding our minds.
An Interview with Veteran Rocker, Derek “The Howl” Henderson
Music Nation:
We’re joining Derek Henderson at his beutiful home near Whakahangareka, of course better known to fans of the 1980s hair-metal scene as “The Howl” from the influential German polka-metal band Scherz. Derek, thank you for your kind invitation. You’ve been outspoken about the influence of astrology on your music. Could you explain this connection for our readers?
Derek Henderson:
Well, it’s obvious man, isn’t it? Music is basically just star energy turned into vibrations. Like, Beethoven… he was a Capricorn, you can hear it. All that… goat… business in the symphonies.
MN:
Yes. Quite. And how did that translate into your own work?
DH:
I only write riffs when Mars is in Leo, because that’s when guitars sound heavier. It’s the red, the heaviest colour, everyone knows that.
MN:
I see. And your drumming choices? Scherz were well known for the biggest punch.
DH:
Our drummer always checks the moon cycles. Full moon, he’ll only play the tom fills. New moon, hi-hats only. He says it’s about “lunar balance,” and it saves on cymbals. I never argue with him, we just work around the cycles. Thats where the song “Too Much Tom” came about.
It does mean our albums take 5-years on average to complete, but the results speak for themselves.
MN:
Curious. You’ve compared your album mixing process to the constellations before. Could you expand on that?
DH:
(Leaning in) Right, so this is serious stuff, I’ve said it before – mixing is like Orion’s Belt. Its got three stars, right – so we only use three faders. The trick is to be careful, if you push them up too high, it’s trousers round your ankles. Got to keep ‘em snug, you know?
(Derek winked at me knowingly)
MN:
I… don’t, but thank you. What about collaboration? Do star signs affect which musicians work well together?
DH:
Absolutely, man. I never tour with Geminis anymore. Had a bassist once, Gemini bloke. Nice fellow, but played every note twice. Nightmare. Our set took twice as long to finish.
MN:
Understandable. And have you ever adjusted release dates based on planetary movement?
DH:
Oh, yeah all the time. We changed the launch of “In The Muck” three times, just to be safe. Once we delayed an album because Jupiter wasn’t lined up with the charts. Didn’t help, though, it still flopped. But cosmically, it was a smash hit.
MN:
How comforting. Lastly, what would you say to skeptics who dismiss all this as nonsense?
DH:
I’d say this: If astrology isn’t real, then why is “Stairway to Heaven” exactly eight minutes and two seconds long? Eighty two! Eight plus two is ten, right. Then one plus zero is one. One resonates with Leo’s ruling plant – the sun! The sun is heaven, man.
You can’t argue with maths.
MN:
No… no, one certainly cannot. Thank you, Mr Howl, for your… unique insight.
(Mr Henderson appeared courtesy of PTG TahC Creation Agency)
